film

I feel like taking photographs again. Polaroid decided to stop making their special film - the type where photos can be instantly produced without having to wait for an hour at a print store. This has nothing at all to do with me. I have never owned a polaroid, and seeing the current updates, nor am I likely to own one in any future. Don't get me wrong, I know the benefits of polaroid. I've seen polaroids. I've had my picture taken on a polaroid, had the blank paper passed to me, had to shake it vigorously and watch my own face appear from the murky depths of god-knows-where. And the colours are amazing. In 1980, it must have been the closest thing to digitalism. Modernity in a polaroid. I want to take photos, but not with a digital camera, with film. Film needs a revival. You take a shot and you don't know how it's gonna turn out til maybe a day later. You don't waste film. You only keep memories that are worth keeping. Ultimately, though, the benefits of the digital still overwhelm film, I guess. I won't disillusion myself into being a purist, because I'm not. But I want to take photographs in film, and submit it for an exhibition, and have people look at it. If the appreciation exceeds the time captured within the photo, I'm pleased. But I don't want to keep the photo, hidden away in an album on a shelf, lying that I'll look at it and feel whatever I wanna feel, 5, 10, 20 years later. Maybe that's why I want to take a photograph. Just the sense of the exciting colours, the touch of the film in my hand, the smell of the dark room chemicals, possibly even fumbling in the dark. There's a romantic quality to it. Then again this might be a just another transient urge. Maybe tomorrow I'll say digital is the way to go. If only we could tell the future the same way we develop polaroids. A shake here, a jerk there, and the future...develops, from blurry nothingness to a vivid narration in seconds. Void to clarity. Maybe I just don't want to die before I've had a chance to take a film photo and develop it myself. Wouldn't that be an absolute waste?