It started out as a feeling

-stuck between doors. I've got this weird feeling right now, like I'm missing out on something terribly fun and important and wonderful, and I should stop and look, but at the same time that the future would be similarly exciting. It's like Wednesday is a watershed day kinda thing and I don't know what to expect after that. But at the same time I'm gonna miss this holidays because it was amazingly fun and eventful and everything else. Exams always give me a mixed tingly sensation that could spark something off but at the same time just restrict that exact thing. I'm kinda rambling now, but it's OK. It's just that I feel enclosed in this freedom if that even makes sense. I'm nervous and tired and happy and reluctant and tons of other stuff. Things don't always have to be story-shaped right. Closing of past doors and all that metaphorical stuff are just guidelines. I'm just-

The wake-up call to a rented room

Hell yeah I just finished AP and GP in 3 hours. At this rate I should be able to finish maths in time for Wednesday. Anyway today was a really fun day with great company. And I kinda screwed my body clock drinking the whole afternoon, learning and playing squash on high, then having a Brit breakfast at Holland V for dinner. I napped for a couple of hours and woke up with a hangover at freaking 11pm. We gotta do this again after exams yeah. And I just made scrambled eggs. Ffs. Good morning.

In other words: If you start to panic for maths just make eggs yo.

Incidents

Incident 1
A few weeks back, I was reading Neil Gaiman's short story collection on the MRT. I was on this erotic story that was rather too detailed and being semi-conscious of this I looked around and saw this other dude 2 seats away looking at the pages. Fuck. I rushed through that story and moved onto the next one immediately.

Incident 2
Yesterday morning I had this dream where I was in VS for god knows what, when I felt hungry and approached the drinks stall whereupon I bought a yummy-looking hot dog pastry thing. I was just about to quench my hunger with this masterful culinary feat when I woke up to the buzzing of my phone. I answered it and it was Andre asking me about the theme of meals in Great Expectations. Fuck.

Incident 3
I just watched 4 episodes of Hell's Kitchen back to back during the time that I promised myself I would spend studying, seeing as how I have not studied at all today and I have yet to start on Maths and Econs and I will be tragically busy tomorrow. Then I looked at the clock and see it's 3am. Fuck.


Woah 3 tragic incidents in 1 post. My blog is turning emo man.

Music & Idyllics

Y'know how listening to certain songs that you haven't heard in a while can bring back distinct memories and vivid recollections of whatever you were doing when you last used to hear it? Like a miniature toned-down time machine that only lasts a second? How an opening snare beat can sound like the kicking down of the door of your mind? Here're some of mine:

I Don't Feel Like Dancin' - Scissor Sisters
Australia, around 2 years back. The song was just released and most every place in Australia was blaring to this track. I recall a waitress singing this song while serving my family food, and again on the radio on the plane ride back.

Time of Your Life - Green Day
When I dropped Chemistry, cos somehow I remember listening to this song on the way to school on the day I told Nabilah that I was going to drop Chem. Aww emo shitz.

Welcome to My Life - Simple Plan
Lower secondary days, during the holidays when my family went down to KL by coach, and there was a bloody traffic jam, and this song came on.

My Cherie Amour - Stevie Wonder
Another plane ride from Australia. The onboard radio had some problems and kept repeating this song, but I was too lazy to remove my headphones. The starting bit is forever ingrained in my brain.

Sugar We're Goin' Down - Fall Out Boy
2007 UK-France VJC Lit Trip! Long bus rides and passing time with the aid of Mark Leong's iPod and weird games. Backseat Boys yo.

Famous Last Words - My Chemical Romance
First three months in VJ, taking the bus home after SLV at Sentosa.
Also during a certain Econs period on Tues, when Mrs Chua arrived late and I stoned in the lab listening to this and discussing favourite MCR songs with Edo.

7 Years Down - Rancid
The 5 day photography job I took with Chris last December to fund my life. Seriously the money was the main motivating factor. I kept playing this song on the long bus rides (to NEWater plant and Night Safari and other amazingly dull places).

Soul Meets Body - Death Cab For Cutie
The smell of my new house mingled with Christmas-y feelings, cos I only started looping the DCFC album last December and it was still cool to hang out on the couch in the living room.

Miss Murder - AFI
Chinese lesson in sec 4, when I heard this song for the first time on MTV before school and had to ask Jontan if AFI or Miss Murder was the name of the artist.

and lastly,
Creep - Radiohead
Hanging out with the SMUN gang at CHIJMES last last week til like 4am, getting high, when the live band came up with this song and we started to sing along. HAHAHA.


I currently love studying History. Because I just have to copy the lecture notes into 2 messy pages of fullscap to constitute mugging. I hate the thought of finishing History, because that means I have to move on to maths- or worse, econs.

Oh special mention!
Take Me To Your Heart - Michael Learns To Rock
JAHAHAHAHAHAA.

extract

Is perfection truly that artificial and intangible a construct?

"Isn't it wonderful to gaze at perfection with your very own eyes? Beauty is transposed, now, to your mind."

"Doesn't it make things alright? The feeling that, after this, things will only get worse? That, you, of all people, are perfection and destruction, all at once- forget liminality. And so is everyone else."

"It's all a matter of perception. Or not. You see what I mean."